Diary of a day during the COVID-19 pandemic

Gender equality and equal gender representation in all aspects is guaranteed by the Law on Gender Equality. This law protects and promotes equality among genders and offers equal opportunities in all aspects of social life. But in reality, things are different. Whether in jobs outside the house or inside the house, especially in housework which according to boys and men are only for women and they should not get involved in it.

This proves that patriarchy still dominates and men/boys are not willing to change themselves and do something worthy for them and their families.

In the first volume of her “The Second Sex” book, Simone De Beauvoir presents facts and myths on gender and different gender perspectives. The book describes how some people when asked what is a woman – their answer is “woman is just a womb”, while for men they say “he is the absolute whereas she is ‘the other’”.

Similarly, in our families as well, the woman’/girl is treated a ‘the other’, as someone who should do the chores and never complain about anything. They should always obey their husband, father, or brother. Actually, they should obey any male in their family since patriarchy wants it to be this way.

I watch how men in my family behave since morning and I don’t want to – I don’t dare to think that maybe me, my mother, or my grandmother are also ‘the other’ for them. But when it comes to housework, I notice that they up to a point agree with the mentality of the majority that housework is something only women and girls should do and they should not involve in it. This makes me understand that gender equality is not as it should be!

Even though I always try to divide work with my brothers, it’s always me who does most of the work since they use the work outside the house as a justification. They insist “it is harder than doing the housework”.

Housework is the most essential thing when it comes to hygiene one’s way of living and it should be done no matter one’s gender. But the patriarchal system creates gender norms that set men and boys apart from this aspect of life.

For men and boys, it is a pride not helping with the housework since they think their personality as males will look weaker.

As long as this mentality does not change, we will never achieve gender equality.

While trying to realize this, I’ve come to the conclusion that the men of my family think it is a kind of tradition which they should respect and continue since their ancestors didn’t do anything in regards to housework. However, this is not acceptable since it’s it contradicts the Law on Gender Equality and nowadays social and gender norms.

Housework does not recognize gender, and it has never done so before!

This article was written by Amela Pejcinovic, a student in the Department of Social Work in UP under the monitoring of professor Vjollca Krasniqi within the cooperation with SIT. This article was written within the project “Men and Boys as Partners in Promoting Gender Equality and the Prevention of Youth Extremism and Violence in the Balkans”, implemented by CARE International Balkans in partnership with SIT and YMCA in Kosovo and supported by Austrian Development Agency, and Oak Foundation.

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