Diary of a day during the COVID-19 pandemic

Tuesday

The responsibilities in a woman’s life in a patriarchal society are really high. They’re expected to do the housework and a bunch of other things. Women nowadays are not only combating housework, but also the way work is divided. Housework is boring since if a woman lives with a man in any kind of relationship they may have, there is a high chance she will end up doing the most part of the job, no matter who earns more, or who spends more time at work. According to some studies, in heterosexual families in which the woman is the main food provider, the more the earns the less her partner will contribute to housework.

We’re living in a patriarchal society and even though we as women try to raise our voice at least in our family circle, what we say is rarely taken into account. This happens in my family as well, and has always happened – not only now during the pandemic. I consider myself as a feminist and I always felt furious due to the fact that me and many others before me had to defer
to nonsense as “female’s role”.

The responsibilities for the housework fall on me. Even though I’m the youngest, doing all the chores is expected of me, while my brothers are
at work and my parents justify them. On the occasion when I tell my mother that my brother should do a chore, she justifies his actions by
saying that he was at work and he is tired, so she herself ends up doing the chore. Despite the fact that right now they’re not working, they are still
justified by my parents. Whenever I revolt they tell me “you’re a girl”. This ends up revolting me even more, but at my house, the debates about
gender roles remain just debates. No matter what I say, neither their actions nor my revolt change on the following days.

Just like every other day, this Tuesday began with doing house chores, cleaning took two hours, and then I had some time off to talk to my friends on social media. After watching a movie, it was time to cook lunch together with my mother. After lunch, as per usual we washed the dishes and went on with other chores.

This was a day in my life, and I believe many Albanian women share the same experience, when the majority of their day is doing the house work all alone, leaving little time to look after themselves. But, individuals can play a really important role in changing their behavior within their family. This gender division of house chores will not become equal by women doing less, but by men doing more. Small moments at home- the women cleaning up the mess; men leaving their soaking towel on the bathroom floor, being sure that someone will pick it up after him- lead to larger patterns of inequality within the marriage. Everyday habits matter, and without a change they will continue to hold back women. If the patriarchy has invested this much in the “carpets” being clean, let them come and clean during the weekends.

This article was written by Jeta Balaj, a student in the Department of Social Work in UP under the monitoring of professor Vjollca Krasniqi within the cooperation with SIT. This article was written within the project “Men and Boys as Partners in Promoting Gender Equality and the Prevention of Youth Extremism and Violence in the Balkans”, implemented by CARE International Balkans in partnership with SIT and YMCA in Kosovo and supported by Austrian Development Agency, and Oak Foundation.