{"id":964,"date":"2020-06-01T11:47:11","date_gmt":"2020-06-01T11:47:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/?p=964"},"modified":"2020-06-10T15:36:33","modified_gmt":"2020-06-10T15:36:33","slug":"burre-dhe-baba-rishikim-identitetesh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/burre-dhe-baba-rishikim-identitetesh\/","title":{"rendered":"BURR\u00cb DHE BABA: RISHIKIM IDENTITETESH"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMe m\u2019pas\u00eb than\u00eb po t\u00eb desin te tan\u00eb, pelenat nd\u00ebrru s\u2019jau kisha. Edhe kjo me pas\u00eb ken\u00eb e dekun, e kisha pagu ni grua tjet\u00ebr e tybe pelenat ndrru nuk jau kisha<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00ebshtu shprehet nj\u00eb burr\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb 70-at nga rajoni i Hasit n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb n\u00eb pyetjen se a do t\u2019ua kishte nd\u00ebrru pelenat f\u00ebmij\u00ebve p\u00ebrderisa flasin p\u00ebr rolin e tij dhe t\u00eb bashk\u00ebshortes s\u00eb tij n\u00eb rritjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre. P\u00ebr t\u00eb, kujdesi p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe pun\u00ebt n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi jan\u00eb, si\u00e7 shprehet ai, \u201cpun\u00eb t\u00eb koklavitura\u201d q\u00eb u takojn\u00eb vet\u00ebm grave. Ai madje tregon se si n\u00eb mend\u00ebsin\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn \u00ebsht\u00eb rritur \u201cme e pa burrin tu i ndihmua gruas di\u00e7ka, asht\u2019 ken\u00eb shum\u00eb marre, kan\u00eb kesh\u00eb tan\u00eb me to. U kan\u00eb marre me e marr\u00eb mashkulli djepin n\u2019dor\u00eb ose me e marr\u00eb ni fmi t\u00eb vetin n\u2019gryk\u201d, e tutje n\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekje p\u00ebr t\u00eb legjitimuar mend\u00ebsin\u00eb e till\u00eb ai shprehet \u201cs\u2019e ka fal\u00eb Zoti burrin p\u00ebr me nd\u00ebrru pelena!\u201d. T\u00eb njejt\u00ebs pyetje, nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr burr\u00eb i gjenerat\u00ebs shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb re dhe i martuar s\u00eb fundmi, i p\u00ebrgjgjet: \u201cnana osht\u2019 me ja nd\u00ebrru pampersat, jo baba\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00ebto biseda jan\u00eb zhvilluar n\u00eb kuad\u00ebr t\u00eb dokumentarit \u201cDasmat dhe pampersat<\/a>\u201d me regji t\u00eb Antoneta Kastrati dhe Cassey Cooper Johnson. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb dokumentar paraqiten kat\u00ebr \u00e7ifte nga rajone dhe gjenerata t\u00eb ndryshme n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb ku nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera flasin se si ata angazhohen n\u00eb rritjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve dhe n\u00eb pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. N\u00eb bisedat q\u00eb zhvillohen me k\u00ebto \u00e7ifte v\u00ebrehet m\u00eb s\u00eb miri se si definimi i at\u00ebsis\u00eb i ndikuar nga faktor\u00eb t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm social e ekonomik form\u00ebsohet ndryshe nd\u00ebr rajone e breza t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm. Disa nga k\u00ebta faktor\u00eb dhe r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e p\u00ebrfshirjes s\u00eb baballar\u00ebve n\u00eb rritjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve do t\u2019i shtjellojm\u00eb n\u00eb vazhdim edhe si p\u00ebrpjekje p\u00ebr t\u00eb ofruar nj\u00eb pasqyr\u00eb se si normat gjinore, sidomos ato t\u00eb maskulinitetit toksik, p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb rolin e burrave si baballar\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si dhe pse?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Para se t\u00eb flasim se si normat tradicionale t\u00eb burr\u00ebris\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb, t\u00eb ngjajshme nd\u00ebr shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb patriarkale kudo, p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb burrat si figura autoritare n\u00eb raport me familjet e tyre n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi duke p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb edhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, le t\u00eb diskutojm\u00eb se pse \u00ebsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme si p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt poashtu p\u00ebr vet\u00eb baballar\u00ebt q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb angazhuar dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb rritjen dhe zhvillimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve dhe n\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb forma ata mund ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nj\u00eb list\u00eb me aktivitete q\u00eb baballar\u00ebt mund t\u2019i zhvillojn\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre paraqitet n\u00eb artikullin \u201cR\u00ebnd\u00ebsia e p\u00ebrfshirjes s\u00eb babait n\u00eb programet e f\u00ebmij\u00ebrise s\u00eb hershme\u201d, t\u00eb publikuar n\u00eb revist\u00ebn shkencore \u201cYoung Exceptional Children\u201d<\/em> n\u00eb 2018. Aty nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera p\u00ebrmenden: aktivitetet kreative n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, aktivitete t\u00eb gatimit, aktivitete muzikore, letrare, si dhe aktivitete t\u00eb ndryshme q\u00eb prind\u00ebrit mund t\u00eb zhvillojm\u00eb n\u00eb natyr\u00eb. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto aktivitete ndihmojn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb raporte m\u00eb t\u00eb ngushta t\u00eb baballar\u00ebve me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre duke kaluar m\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb me ta dhe duke krijuar lidhje emocionale t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme. P\u00ebrpos aktiviteteve q\u00eb mund t\u2019i zhvillojn\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme q\u00eb baballar\u00ebt t\u00eb angazhohen n\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesje p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, duke ua plot\u00ebsuar nevojat fizike dhe psikologjike f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre dhe duke mos e konsideruar k\u00ebt\u00eb vet\u00ebm si p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi t\u00eb n\u00ebnave, ashtu si\u00e7 ndodh n\u00eb shum\u00eb raste. Kjo sepse p\u00ebrfshirja e baballar\u00ebve n\u00eb k\u00ebto forma, pos q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb s\u00eb pari p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi e gjithsecilit prind, poashtu studimet tregojn\u00eb se kjo krijon edhe familje dhe rrjedhimisht shoq\u00ebri m\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtura p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rohner dhe Veneziano (2001) shprehen se n\u00eb shum\u00eb studime t\u00eb publikuara n\u00eb revist\u00ebn shkencore \u201cReview of General Psychology\u201d,<\/em> ku flitet p\u00ebr raportet baba – f\u00ebmij\u00eb, thuhet se f\u00ebmij\u00ebt me baballar\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb krahasim me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt me baballar\u00eb m\u00eb pak t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb rritjen e tyre, \u201ckan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb aft\u00eb n\u00eb nx\u00ebnie, m\u00eb kompetent n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet sociale, m\u00eb pak t\u00eb prirur ndaj stereotipeve gjinore, m\u00eb empatik\u201d, si dhe n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi me sh\u00ebndet mendor m\u00eb stabil (f.392). <\/em>K\u00ebto studime jan\u00eb treguesi m\u00eb i mir\u00eb se sa e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb nj\u00eb baba, aty ku ka mund\u00ebsi, t\u00eb jet\u00eb i p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb dhe t\u00eb krijoj\u00eb raporte t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha, sidomos raporte emocionale, me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tij.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"\/<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Madje, ky lloj i at\u00ebsis\u00eb, at\u00ebsia aktive, nuk ka ndikim pozitiv vet\u00ebm tek f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, por edhe tek vet\u00eb baballar\u00ebt. Sipas UNFPA (United Nations Population Fund) p\u00ebrpjekjet e s\u00eb cil\u00ebs jan\u00eb p\u00ebrqendruar n\u00eb angazhimin e baballar\u00ebve p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb rol m\u00eb aktiv n\u00eb rritjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, kjo edhe si m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb sfiduar stereotipet gjinore dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb luftuar pabarazin\u00eb gjinore, angazhimi m\u00eb i madh i baballar\u00ebve n\u00eb kujdesin p\u00ebr f\u00ebmije, rritjen dhe zhvillimin e tyre, b\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb baballar\u00ebt t\u00eb ndjehen m\u00eb t\u00eb lidhur emocionalisht me parter\u00ebt dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, dhe te jetojn\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

P\u00ebrkund\u00ebr k\u00ebsaj, shum\u00eb baballar\u00eb vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebsojn\u00eb nga normat gjinore t\u00eb burr\u00ebris\u00eb t\u00eb cilat tentojn\u00eb t\u00eb krijojn\u00eb raporte autoritative dhe jo t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme mes burrave n\u00eb rolin e baballar\u00ebve dhe familjes n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb edhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Prandaj, p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar raporte m\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb rritjen dhe kujdesin p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, baballar\u00ebt duhet t\u00eb luftojn\u00eb dhe sfidojn\u00eb normat gjinore t\u00eb burr\u00ebris\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb se burrat nuk duhet t\u00eb shfaqin emocione pozitive, se ata duhet t\u00eb shtypin k\u00ebto emocione p\u00ebrpos kur ato shfaqen n\u00eb form\u00eb t\u00eb dhun\u00ebs, si tregues t\u00eb fuqis\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lidhja n\u00eb mes t\u00eb maskulinitetit dhe at\u00ebsis\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Se ekziston nj\u00eb lidhje e ngusht\u00eb mes maskulinitetit dhe at\u00ebsis\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb argumentuar n\u00eb shum\u00eb studime n\u00eb fush\u00ebn e familjes dhe gjinis\u00eb.\u201c<\/em>At\u00ebsia dhe maskuliniteti potencialisht kryq\u00ebzohen n\u00eb m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb shumta\u201d<\/em>, thuhet n\u00eb kapitullin \u201cAt\u00ebsia dhe maskuliniteti\u201d n\u00eb librin \u201cRoli i babait n\u00eb zhvillimin e f\u00ebmiut\u201d<\/em> (2010, f.28). Tutje, p\u00ebr t\u00eb analizuar lidhjen n\u00eb mes t\u00eb at\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe maskulinitetit, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kapitull prezantohet Modeli i At\u00ebsis\u00eb \u2013 Maskulinitetit, si nj\u00eb korniz\u00eb konceptuale q\u00eb ndihmon n\u00eb ekzaminimin e at\u00ebsis\u00eb si status i prind\u00ebrve dhe at\u00ebsis\u00eb si identitet i prind\u00ebrve; duke prezantuar k\u00ebshtu at\u00ebsin\u00eb n\u00eb dy nivele, t\u00eb dyja k\u00ebto nivele shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar lidhjen mes at\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe maskulinitetit si di\u00e7ka komplekse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nd\u00ebrsa p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar maskulinitetin p\u00ebrbrenda k\u00ebtij raporti kompleks, na ndihmon edhe kategorzimi i maskulinitetit t\u00eb cilin e b\u00ebn\u00eb Kristy Krivickas (2010), duke i identifikuar tri kategori kryesore: maskulinitetin tradicional, bashk\u00ebkohor, dhe modelet e hiper-maskulinitetit. K\u00ebshtu, edhe forma se si shprehet maskuliniteti p\u00ebrmes at\u00ebsis\u00eb pastaj ndryshon. Tek maskuliniteti bashk\u00ebkohor, p\u00ebr shembull, v\u00ebrehet se ka avantazhe socio-ekonomike dhe ka m\u00eb shum\u00eb cil\u00ebsi pozitive t\u00eb maskulinitetit, baballar\u00ebt q\u00eb bien n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kategori edhe kan\u00eb tendenca t\u00eb jen\u00eb emocionalisht m\u00eb t\u00eb lidhur me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre. Baballar\u00ebt q\u00eb bien n\u00eb kategorin\u00eb e hiper-maskulinitetit kan\u00eb tendenca t\u00eb ken\u00eb sjellje m\u00eb abuzive, t\u00eb shtypin m\u00eb shum\u00eb emocionet pozitive, dhe kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb predispozita q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb dhunsh\u00ebm. Kurse baballar\u00ebt nga grupi i tret\u00eb, ata q\u00eb p\u00ebrqafojn\u00eb nj\u00eb maskulinitet tradicional, bien n\u00eb mes t\u00eb baballar\u00ebve bashk\u00ebkohor\u00eb dhe atyre hiper-maskulin\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu var\u00ebsisht se \u00e7far\u00eb normash t\u00eb maskulinitetit ndjekin burrat, ajo edhe e p\u00ebrcakton form\u00ebsimin e rolit t\u00eb tyre si baba. Krivickas (2010) konstaton se marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet intime t\u00eb burrave, p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb ato n\u00eb rolin e babait, ndryshojn\u00eb var\u00ebsisht nga format e maskulinitetit q\u00eb ata burra ndjekin.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normat gjinore n\u00eb nd\u00ebrthurje me faktor\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb social dhe ekonomik<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si\u00e7 e pam\u00eb pra, roli dhe p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsit\u00eb e pritshm\u00ebrit\u00eb prind\u00ebrore t\u00eb nj\u00eb babai mbeten thell\u00ebsisht t\u00eb ndikuara nga normat gjinore, sidomos ato t\u00eb lidhura me maskulinitetin tradicional hegjemonist. Mund\u00ebsit\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i adresuar dhe sfiduar k\u00ebto norma pastaj ndryshojn\u00eb var\u00ebsisht edhe nga nd\u00ebrthurja me faktor\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb social, ekonomik, e politik. T\u00eb qenit burr\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb koncept i m\u00ebsuar. Se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb jesh burr\u00eb ndryshon nd\u00ebr kultura e koh\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshme, sidoqoft\u00eb n\u00eb shum\u00eb shoq\u00ebri patriarkale vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb mbizot\u00ebrojn\u00eb pothuajse t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat norma gjinore p\u00ebr burrat. K\u00ebtu vie n\u00eb shprehje maskuliniteti toksik, q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb koncept q\u00eb u referohet normave gjinore q\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb pah stereotipet tradicionale t\u00eb burrave duke i paraqitur ata si dominues, t\u00eb vrazhd\u00eb, t\u00eb paaft\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar lidhje emocionale t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme; k\u00ebto norma quhen toksike sepse promovojn\u00eb dhun\u00eb dhe e pengojn\u00eb zhvillimin e djemve dhe burrave duke ua limituar atyre mund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur veten jasht\u00eb roleve t\u00eb paracaktuara p\u00ebr ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Se si normat gjinore mund t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb var\u00ebsisht nga nd\u00ebrthurja e tyre me faktor\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb paraqitet edhe n\u00eb dokumentarin qe u p\u00ebrmend n\u00eb fillim t\u00eb k\u00ebtij artikulli. N\u00eb at\u00eb dokumentar, dy nga kat\u00ebr \u00e7iftet i takojn\u00eb gjenerat\u00ebs s\u00eb re, sidoqoft\u00eb, nj\u00eb nga \u00e7iftet q\u00eb jeton n\u00eb zon\u00eb urbane, ku t\u00eb dy jan\u00eb t\u00eb shkolluar dhe punojn\u00eb, perceptimet e tyre mbi rolet gjinore dhe prind\u00ebrimin ndryshojn\u00eb thell\u00ebsisht nga ato t\u00eb \u00e7iftit tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebt jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb zon\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb thell\u00eb dhe nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb pun\u00ebsuar dhe me nivel jo shum\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb t\u00eb shkollimit. Tek \u00e7ifti i par\u00eb, babai e konsideron si p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi t\u00eb tij\u00ebn p\u00ebrkujdesjen p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb, duke p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb nd\u00ebrrimin e pelenave, kurse tek \u00e7ifti tjet\u00ebr, bashk\u00ebshorti shprehet prerazi me \u201cJo!\u201d kur pyetet se a do t\u00eb pranonte t\u2019ua nd\u00ebrronte pelenat f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tij dhe e konsideron at\u00eb vet\u00ebm si p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi t\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs. K\u00ebta t\u00eb dy e d\u00ebshmojn\u00eb q\u00eb var\u00ebsisht nga faktor\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb edukimi, zona ku banon, e pun\u00ebsimi, edhe form\u00ebsohet pranimi apo sfidimi i normave gjinore t\u00eb d\u00ebmshme si p\u00ebr ta ashtu edhe p\u00ebr familjen dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb proces, sidoqoft\u00eb, r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb ka edhe intervenimi institucional p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar n\u00eb ridefinimin e k\u00ebtyre normave. Nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet edhe p\u00ebrmes lejes prind\u00ebrore p\u00ebr baballar\u00ebt q\u00eb punojn\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb nxitet pjes\u00ebmarrja e tyre n\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesjen dhe rritjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A po ndryshon koncepti i at\u00ebsis\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nj\u00eb studim<\/a> i publikuar nga Bringham Young University (BYU) (2018), tregon se si normat e at\u00ebsis\u00eb po ndryshojn\u00eb s\u00eb bashku me normat e maskulinitetit dhe se baballar\u00ebt jan\u00eb \u00e7do her\u00eb e m\u00eb t\u00eb pranish\u00ebm n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. Kevin Shafer, profesor i sociologjis\u00eb n\u00eb BYU dhe bashkautor i studimit tha: \u201cNe zbuluam q\u00eb baballar\u00ebt e sot\u00ebm kalojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb, ofrojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb kujdes dhe jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb dashur ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre se kurr\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb. Shumica e baballar\u00ebve e shohin veten si duke luajtur nj\u00eb rol po aq t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndihmuar f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre sa edhe n\u00ebnat.\u201d<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sidoqoft\u00eb, nj\u00eb grup i burrave vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb konsiderojn\u00eb se roli kryesor dhe i vet\u00ebm i tyre \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb ofrojn\u00eb t\u00eb mira materiale p\u00ebr familjen. K\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna na tregojn\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb po ndodh\u00eb n\u00eb Angli. Kurse n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, edhe pse nuk kemi ndonj\u00eb studim t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj p\u00ebrmase, organizata SIT n\u00eb kuad\u00ebr t\u00eb Koalicionit K10 dhe me mb\u00ebshtetje t\u00eb zyr\u00ebs s\u00eb UNFPA-s\u00eb, ka zhvilluar nj\u00eb pyet\u00ebsor me baballar\u00ebt n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb si p\u00ebrpjekje p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar se si ata e perceptojn\u00eb rolin e tyre si baba dhe sa angazhohen n\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesje p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At\u00ebsia n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00eb pyet\u00ebsorin \u201cSa merren baballar\u00ebt me rritjen dhe kujdesin ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebve?\u201c <\/em>t\u00eb zhvilluar nga SIT kemi synuar t\u00eb mbledhim t\u00eb dh\u00ebna se sa angazhohen baballar\u00ebt n\u00eb rritjen dhe kujdesin ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebve dhe si e shohin ata k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje. T\u00eb dh\u00ebnat jan\u00eb mbledhur nga 341 baballar\u00eb, 88.6% e tyre nga zonat urbane dhe vet\u00ebm 11.4% nga zonat rurale. Duke u bazuar n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, mund t\u00eb konkludojm\u00eb se kjo most\u00ebr jo domosdoshm\u00ebrisht pasqyron gjendjen reale n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, meqen\u00ebse shumica e baballar\u00ebve n\u00eb zonat urbane potencialisht mund t\u00eb q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb raport me kujdesin p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe ndarjen e p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsive n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Sidoqoft\u00eb, nga t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat e mbledhura dalin t\u00eb gjetura mjaft interesante dhe ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb kund\u00ebrth\u00ebn\u00ebse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00eb pyetjen se kush kujdeset p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, 79.9% e tyre jan\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjur se kujdesen t\u00eb dy: n\u00ebna dhe babai. 19.9% e tyre kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se vet\u00ebm n\u00ebna kujdeset p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, kurse vet\u00ebm 0.9% kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se kujdeset vet\u00ebm babai. Sidoqoft\u00eb, n\u00eb pyetjet se kush e pergatit\u00eb ushqimin p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, 61.9% e tyre kan\u00eb then\u00eb se n\u00ebna \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo qe e pergatit\u00eb, 37.5% kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se e p\u00ebrgatisin t\u00eb dy, dhe vet\u00ebm 0.6% kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se e p\u00ebrgatit\u00eb vet\u00ebm babai. P\u00ebrgjigjet se kush kujdeset p\u00ebr past\u00ebrtin\u00eb e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve ishin: T\u00eb dy 51.1%; n\u00ebna 48.1%; dhe babai 0.9%.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edhe pse shum\u00eb prej baballar\u00ebve jan\u00eb shprehur se kalojn\u00eb nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e koh\u00ebs ata e kalojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb koh\u00eb jasht\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu t\u00eb pyetur se \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00ebn q\u00eb e kalojn\u00eb m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, 69.5% kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se i d\u00ebrgojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb park, tek lodrat. K\u00ebshtu koha e mbetur n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi duket se i mbetet p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi n\u00ebn\u00ebs, gj\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn edhe e konfirmojn\u00eb 72.61% t\u00eb baballar\u00ebve duke th\u00ebn\u00eb se n\u00ebnat kalojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Edhe pse 93.5% t\u00eb baballar\u00ebve t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb hulumtim deklaruan se t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit, aty ku \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundshme, duhet t\u00eb kujdesen p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, dhe vet\u00ebm 6.5% deklaruan se vet\u00ebm n\u00ebnat duhet t\u00eb kujdesen, s\u00ebrish shihet nj\u00eb ndarje jo e barabart\u00eb e koh\u00ebs q\u00eb ata kalojn\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt ne krahasim me koh\u00ebn qe e kalojn\u00eb n\u00ebnat. T\u00eb pyetur se a hezitojn\u00eb baballar\u00ebt t\u00eb kujdesen p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre nga presioni i shoq\u00ebris\u00eb dhe rrethit, 76% e tyre deklaruan se nuk hezitojn\u00eb, 18.8% deklaruan se hezitojn\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb, dhe 5.3% deklaruan se hezitojn\u00eb t\u00eb kujdesen p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre shkaku i presionit t\u00eb rrethit. T\u00eb pyetur se pse hezitojn\u00eb, disa nga ta u shpreh\u00ebn q\u00eb rrethi \u201ce marrin p\u00ebr dob\u00ebsi t\u00eb karakterit\u201d, <\/em>dikush tha nuk kujdeset dhe heziton \u201cse \u00ebsht\u00eb marre\u201d, \u201cse m\u00eb keshin\u201d, \u201cse jam burr\u00eb\u201d, \u201cp\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb trajtimit nga rrethi pastaj\u201d, <\/em>k\u00ebto jan\u00eb disa nga p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb shumta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna mund t\u00eb interpretohen si shpres\u00ebdh\u00ebn\u00ebse duke e konsideruar si ndryshim pozitiv nga e kaluara faktin q\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb baballar\u00eb jan\u00eb duke kaluar koh\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre n\u00eb publik, dhe kjo mund t\u00eb sh\u00ebrbej\u00eb si model i mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndryshuar perceptimet rreth rolit t\u00eb babait n\u00eb publik, por n\u00eb t\u00eb njejt\u00ebn koh\u00eb mbetet shqet\u00ebsues fakti q\u00eb k\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna mund t\u00eb pasqyrojn\u00eb vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl t\u00eb shoq\u00ebris\u00eb te fokusuar kryesisht n\u00eb zonat urbane dhe poashtu fakti q\u00eb n\u00ebnat p\u00ebrkund\u00ebr k\u00ebsaj vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb kalojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb koh\u00eb p\u00ebr kujdesje p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, sidomos brenda n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Kjo do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb \u00e7onte n\u00eb nj\u00eb ndarje t\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebs publike dhe private edhe n\u00eb rrafashin e prind\u00ebrimit, gj\u00eb e cila nuk u sh\u00ebrben p\u00ebrpjekjeve p\u00ebr barazi dhe p\u00ebr sfidim t\u00eb roleve gjinore q\u00eb lidhen ngusht\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht me mund\u00ebsin\u00eb e shfryt\u00ebzimit t\u00eb k\u00ebtyre hap\u00ebsirave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pse at\u00ebsia \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje feministe?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meqen\u00ebse roli i babait ndikohet kaq shum\u00eb nga normat e maskulinitetit toksik, ne duhet t\u00eb rip\u00ebrcaktojm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rol nga nj\u00eb perspektiv\u00eb feministe. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb poashtu thelb\u00ebsore n\u00eb arritjen e barazis\u00eb gjinore dhe n\u00eb ridefinimin e maskulinitetit. Vet\u00ebm nga nj\u00eb perspektiv\u00eb feministe ne mund t\u00eb zhvillojm\u00eb nj\u00eb maskulinitet q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb shtyp\u00ebs dhe q\u00eb nuk i kufizon dhe \u00e7\u2019njer\u00ebzon djemt\u00eb dhe burrat. Ashtu si\u00e7 thot\u00eb autori Ariel Chesler n\u00eb nj\u00eb artikull n\u00eb TIME<\/a>, \u201cbaballar\u00ebt modern nuk do t\u00eb ishin t\u00eb mundsh\u00ebm pa feminizmin q\u00eb i inkurajon baballar\u00ebt t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshihen m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tyre\u201d, prandaj ne duhet t\u00eb vazhdojm\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb trajtojm\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtjen e at\u00ebsis\u00eb nga nj\u00eb lens feminist sepse vet\u00ebm k\u00ebshtu mund t\u00eb sfidojm\u00eb normat gjinore q\u00eb shtypin dhe q\u00eb krijojn\u00eb pabarazi gjinore duke filluar nga mosha e hershme apo edhe akoma para se f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb lindin. Si\u00e7 thot\u00eb Bell Hooks, \u201cFeminizmi \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb\u201d, <\/em>prandaj edhe t\u00eb gjitha \u00e7\u00ebshtjet dhe p\u00ebrpjekjet p\u00ebr drejt\u00ebsi shoq\u00ebrore jan\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje feministe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ky artikull \u00ebsht\u00eb shkruar nga Mirishahe Syla nga SIT n\u00eb kuad\u00ebr t\u00eb aktivitetit p\u00ebr sh\u00ebnimin e Dit\u00ebs Globale t\u00eb Prind\u00ebrve. SIT \u00ebsht\u00eb pjes\u00eb e Koalicionit K10 i cili mb\u00ebshtetet nga UNFPA zyra n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb.<\/em>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pik\u00ebpamjet e paraqitura n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb shkrim jo domosdoshm\u00ebrisht paraqesin pik\u00ebpamjet e UNFPA-s\u00eb, Kombeve t\u00eb Bashkuara ose ndonj\u00eb organizate t\u00eb lidhur me t\u00eb.<\/em>
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cMe m\u2019pas\u00eb than\u00eb po t\u00eb desin te tan\u00eb, pelenat nd\u00ebrru s\u2019jau kisha. Edhe kjo me pas\u00eb ken\u00eb e dekun, e kisha pagu ni grua tjet\u00ebr e tybe pelenat ndrru nuk jau kisha.\u201d K\u00ebshtu shprehet nj\u00eb burr\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb 70-at nga rajoni i Hasit n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb n\u00eb pyetjen se a do t\u2019ua kishte nd\u00ebrru pelenat f\u00ebmij\u00ebve […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-964","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=964"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":978,"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/964\/revisions\/978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=964"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=964"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sit-ks.org\/sq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}